


Shelter From the Storm

by visionofblue (merelyafigment)



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: It's quite clear I enjoy rainy days, M/M, old fic I barely remember writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-28
Updated: 2005-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:02:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27026287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merelyafigment/pseuds/visionofblue
Summary: There's a storm going on outside. Ryan misses things. Murphy finds him. They find a bit of calm amidst all the pain. (Set near the end of Season 6. Originally posted elsewhere long ago.)
Relationships: Sean Murphy/Ryan O'Reily
Kudos: 3





	Shelter From the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving Note: am archiving and backdating this from the future, to spare flooding the AO3 Oz section with my old fic. The backdate is inaccurate. Originally posted on mailing lists, Oz archives, and journals long ago.
> 
> Author's Notes: AU set near the end of season 6, in my version Pa O'Reily never commits one of the stupidest crimes ever, so he's not there, not that it's ever mentioned. Also, it's mentioned that they get out for fresh air sometimes, which I think is the norm (and sometimes mandatory possibly) in most real prisons, it was just never shown on Oz. And it's the end of season 6, so I stick by the gentler, more open, redeemed Ryan O'Reily characterization.

Murphy turned down the hallway to see...Ryan O'Reily. Not where Ryan should be, though that wasn't a surprise. He was on the landing of the stairs, right next to one of the outside walls, far from EmCity. This wasn't the first time Murphy had caught an inmate near one of the few windows in this place, trying to catch a chink of sun, and a moment alone. But...

It was raining, possibly hailing now. A big storm that had soaked Murphy earlier during just the walk from his car. The sky was dark. The harsh beat of the rain, the roll and crack of thunder rang and echoed in the stairwell, down the hall. Nothing to absorb the sound but all that steel and stone, it sounded like they were surrounded by it. A strange sensation, the music of the storm all around in the cool air, like a distorted mirror of being out in it. The light flashed in the small, chained window Ryan was in front of. He was peering out. Murphy was caught by the expression on his face. Probably the most innocent looking Murphy had ever seen him. Full of joy and wonder, yearning, like he was trying to soak up the sensation. Ryan's hand was reached up to the window, fingers threaded through the metal mesh to touch the glass.

"Ryan." Murphy called out as he came near.

Ryan turned to look at him, moving his hand down. He leaned against the stone wall now, casual. He had been startled, but you couldn't see it. Nothing betrayed it. Murphy just knew, he'd caught his fellow Black Irish unawares.

"Hey there, Officer Murphy." That voice just as calm as that face was now, like he was talking to a friend almost, but there was that little sneaky slip there behind the words. "I was just on my way to..."

Murphy cut off the lie. "To help orphans and widows, I'm sure. But you're not actually scheduled to do that until later, Ryan. As nice as it is that you're getting a head start, you're not supposed to be here." Murphy said drolly.

Ryan's annoyance was tugged away by slight amusement as he shrugged. "I'm not planning my escape, Murph. Let me stay?" Ryan's eyes were sliding between Murphy and the window, still soaking in that storm. The request and nickname were cautious, but smooth as always. Taking his cues from Sean's behavior...remembering a time long past.

"Why are you here, Ryan? You're supposed to be in Em City." Murphy asked. But he still didn't use Ryan's last name. It was a mistake that he couldn't help but make after having seen that expression on Ryan's face when he hadn't known Murphy was there.

"I wanted to see the storm. You can't hear it in there with all the fucking noise." Ryan gestured back in the direction of Em City with the complaint.

"You waiting for the rainbow at the end?" Murphy let it drag out, not taking him back like he should.

Back to playing favorites.

Ryan grinned, softly, and it threw Murphy even further off. "Nah, no fucking pot of gold here. I just miss the outside."

Murphy moved closer, but not too close, leaning against the wall a few feet from Ryan. The stone was a chill against his skin, but not through his clothes. "You'd think you'd have the smarts to wait until the sun is shining and the bluebirds are chirping, instead of getting busted for rain and wind." Murphy commented wryly. "You get to go outside occasionally, in the yard. Regulations, we have to let you see the sun. Fresh air. " But Murphy knew it wasn't enough. Few and far between.

"We get out for exercise sometimes, sure. Because you fucking have to let us." Ryan repeated with a smirk. "But never when it's raining. I love the sun, can't get enough, but I never thought I'd miss the rain this much. I'll never have it again. Never feel it, you know?"

Murphy nodded a little, there was a deep longing in Ryan's voice as Ryan glanced back at the window when there was another flash. Ryan went back to standing in front of the window.

And then Murphy made a real dumbfuck move. He went to the window, right behind Ryan, to look out at all that Ryan saw of the storm. Trying to appreciate the thing that annoyed him on the way to work. It wasn't a hassle to Ryan...he had no where to go. It was only beauty.

But he'd gotten too close, and Ryan was right there with him. The thing Murphy could never have. He'd thought he'd buried it long ago...but it was working its way back to the surface.

Ryan reached back out to tug on the wire mesh obstructing the view and reminding him that he wasn't just inside and cozy, riding it out. He was trapped.

"You going to take me back to Em City before it breaks?" Ryan spoke softly next to him.

"No." Sean answered without thought. He couldn't take this brief piece of the world away from Ryan. Not when Ryan was losing everything else. "I'm not leaving you to your own devices in the hall though." He was a softy, he was playing favorites, but he hadn't had a lobotomy. Not completely. But Murphy knew that Cyril's predicament was wearing Ryan thin, changing him. Ryan needed something to hold him together.

Ryan stepped even closer, moving back a little to stand beside Murphy. His arm and hip were brushing Murphy's side now as he pressed there, both of them looking out. "Good. Storms are better when you're not alone."

"Storms are better when you're not out in them." Murphy pointed out, trying to ignore Ryan's heat, the soft look in Ryan's eyes as he watched the rain splatter against the window.

But then Ryan turned his head to look at Sean again, gaze moving over him. "Is that why your hair is wet?" Ryan asked with a smirk.

A loud rumble of thunder drew Ryan's eyes back out. Both of them just standing there together, Ryan casually leaning forward towards the wall again, bracing an arm there, taking another step forward. He wasn't startled at all by the sudden crash. Murphy was still close though...he'd moved forward with Ryan without noticing it. Kept them touching. Ryan noticed, his gaze catching Murphy for a second before it slid back to the storm.

"I remember when you first got here." Ryan's eyes were focused out the window again as he spoke, not on Murphy.

Murphy could see the flash of the lightning across Ryan's face, in his eyes. The reflection of their faces in the window. And whatever Sean was expecting him to say, he was stunned by Ryan's next words.

"You wanted me. You talked a good game, about brotherhood and understanding, Irish unity, but that's not all that was there. I would have found all that talk more believable if you hadn't handled me so...cautiously. You were holding yourself back." Ryan continued.

"All that talk was true." Murphy countered sternly. Maybe he should drag Ryan's ass back to Em City. Stop _this_. "I meant it. I wasn't after your ass, Ryan."

This was definitely not, 'So, how about this weather?'. Ryan was going under the skin instead. Murphy didn't know where it was coming from, why Ryan was opening this now. Ever. But Ryan was softly serious, not attacking, not...after anything.

Ryan nodded. "Oh, I know. You weren't 'after my ass'. But it was all you could do to keep your eyes off of it." Ryan smirked. But there was something oddly confessional about his tone the whole time he spoke. Ryan wasn't mocking Murphy, or trying to get under his skin to manipulate, or hurt him. Ryan was just...talking...to Murphy. About the unspoken things. Generally, they were supposed to fucking stay unspoken for a good reason.

"You've been in here too long. That never happened. Not everyone thinks that way." Murphy denied it again. Still hiding.

Ryan rightfully didn't believe him, and it didn't stop him. He looked so _thoughtful_. Human. Alone. Sean had only seen glimpses of this before. Long before he'd seen the truth at the time. The cunning and game playing had eventually obscured everything else. But lately...Sean had seen it come back. The heart that was buried when Ryan used his brother for deluded reasons, forcing him to box. Murphy felt an almost guilty twist at having abandoned the other parts of Ryan. Sean had given up, and shut himself off. Maybe if he hadn't, things would have turned out differently for Ryan...and Cyril. But that was gone now, so Murphy just let it go.

Ryan was unselfishly wrapped up in his brother now. Finally, just there for him like he should've been all along. He'd finally gotten it. And Murphy had played no part in that. He'd abandoned them too soon. Ryan was here now though, and he was sharing that humanity underneath more than ever. Even if it hadn't been due to Murphy, it was here now.

He was still Ryan O'Reily. More than a good ol' Irish mug. Worse and better. Deadly. Ryan cared only about those in his heart, and the rest were just disposable pawns. Sean didn't know if Gloria knew all that. She seemed to focus on other things, Ryan's behavior towards her. But Sean knew. Murdering her husband was only one of the many things he was capable of. That had been passion, twisted and dark. But Ryan could do just as bad for nothing but profit. Cold, and guiltless.

Murphy...still liked him. All of him. That's why he'd run away. Back when it had been easy, when he could dismiss O'Reily as a cold, heartless bastard.

"I liked you, you know." Ryan continued.

Murphy rolled his eyes with a weary, mocking smile. Ryan had turned his head to see it, like he was expecting it. "You pulled shit on me you wouldn't with anyone else, me boy-o. You wanted an Irish hack in your pocket. You used me, no wonder you 'liked me'."

Murphy was amused, not bitter. He'd always known that was the game Ryan was playing. He may be playing it again now. But Murphy couldn't help him. If he could've helped Cyril -- he would have. Timmy was hanging on to a grudge, wanting Cyril punished for Ryan's crime. Sean's old friend could be so fucking pigheaded sometimes. Righteous and stubborn, it was his best quality as well as his worst. Among many others. You took the good with the bad though, Murphy had always known that.

Ryan grinned back. "Yeah, I did. But I couldn't push you over any lines. Using you was never fucking easy. I knew. You're a good guy, not like all these other motherfuckers that can be bought off...hypothetically. I knew I could only come to you for certain shit, you wouldn't help me break any rules, not really." Ryan looked amused himself, back to being fascinated with the sound and fury outside the window. "Not that I ever break the rules of course."

"Of course," Murphy said sarcastically. "You tried to make me break them, when I caught you...hypothetically." Murphy couldn't help but add.

The chloral hydrate. When Murphy had started to give up. When he saw just what Ryan callously did. Hurting his brother, not taking responsibility. Murphy had pulled back before he...fell further, and started crossing those lines. Not that he was tempted to at that point, not in the least. That was too far. He'd known Ryan wasn't above hurting others, but Murphy wouldn't help him with that. And the fact that he'd been playing his brother all along, that was a shock. A nasty one.

"I was desperate. I had to try. I knew I was screwed anyway. If anyone else had found me, I might've been able to take care of it. But not you," Ryan continued looking out, eyes sliding over to Murphy for just a second. "You helped us because you cared, not for your own gain. Which made you less useful, and a pain in my fucking ass...but I liked you. You saw parts of me that were hidden, like Cyril does." Ryan added that last part softly.

"I lost you after that," Ryan said. It was a matter of fact statement, punctuated with a shrug. "You liked me, stood up for me and Cyril, before you really knew me and gave up. It's okay, I would've given up on me too. I only would have sucked you dry," Ryan said with a bit of darkness, before he continued. "But before that... you wanted me, but you never tried to get me."

Murphy gave in in the face of that odd honesty. This new, kinder, gentler... _lost_ O'Reily. The one with the growing hole in his heart where a brother was being pulled away. Where hope had used to be. It was like Ryan was letting things out because he didn't have much left to lose, and he was trying to hang on to the few connections he had.

Murphy stopped denying it. "Because that's not _why_ I was on your side. Besides, I didn't have a chance, Ryan. I knew that. And I never would have crossed that line anyway. "

And all that was true. Murphy hadn't just been following his hormones. Murphy knew the temptations of this job. And back then... he didn't give in. He'd known what he was signing on for, but he'd known the type of person he was. Back then. Now...Sean had already crossed lines, but for a far darker purpose. Revenge. Morales would never walk again because of something he had played a part in. Sean had made his amends. Done the right thing after the fact. But Oz had changed him, all those years were starting to add up. Just like they had for Ryan, but Ryan's changes were seemingly more positive. But then again, the catalysts had been more horrible, and dire for Ryan.

Murphy wasn't the one losing a brother.

Ryan suddenly turned completely, surprising Sean. Ryan's back was against the stone outer wall right next to the window, facing Murphy head on now. "What about now?"

Fuck. The longing in Ryan's eyes tugged at him a little. Murphy shook his head, trying to shake it off, and ignore the question. But Ryan caught him, and wasn't going to forget it, Murphy could see that in the narrowing of his eyes. Shit.

Ryan took the opening quickly, stepping forward. Inches from Murphy. Ryan licked his lips compulsively as he locked those eyes on Sean. And Sean...couldn't move. Lightning struck without warning, but sometimes you could almost feel it building in the air. Smell it. Like now.

Because now the lines had moved. Murphy had already changed, crossed a line for the wrong reason. This...wouldn't hurt anyone. It wouldn't. But what the fuck was Ryan up to? Murphy hadn't expected this. A whole different game. But there was a need there in Ryan. This particular game was personal for him.

"Are you on something, O'Reily?" Murphy actually checked his pupils. He couldn't help it.

"No," Ryan said with a slight shake of his head, before that longing took back over, focused on Murphy now. "I'm so fucking lonely...and you smell like the rain." Ryan leaned in, face close to Sean's.

Ryan closed those two inches between them, pressing against Murphy. Fuck. Sean was caught. He had always wanted Ryan. Was drawn to him. Still, he'd filed it away, and ignored it. But that body against his felt better than he'd imagined. Ryan's head dipped to the crook of Sean's neck, raising goosebumps over his flesh, the hair on the back of his neck.

Lightning.

"You were soaked by it, weren't you?" Ryan whispered against his neck. "I'm glad."

Sean had toweled dry quickly, and put on his dry uniform in the locker room, but that trace of fresh rain was still there. Soaked into the skin. Murphy's hair was still a bit wet.

Sean hadn't even noticed it, until Ryan pressed his face there in the crook of Sean's neck. Inhaling him. Murphy was suddenly glad it was the beginning of his shift, and he hadn't been sweating, and taken on the funk everyone in here had. Ryan just...took him in, like he had been taking in that storm in the window. Savoring the scent.

Ryan's hands carded through his hair. Now it was all Murphy could smell. All he could feel. Rain. That fresh damp feeling to his skin. That smell that was only rain, water but with minerals, water that had traveled and not through a metal pipe. Pure, but dirty, like only nature could be. Here where there was usually only the smell of the prison. Men. Sweat. Industrial cleaner. Blood.

All that was too far away, Sean could only smell the rain on himself...and Ryan. A little bit of that prison smell to the younger man. But it was all filtered through Ryan. All the inmates used basically the same soap, shampoo, and detergent; The commissary didn't have much variety and no one bought cologne. But Murphy knew...only Ryan smelled like this.

Murphy groaned as he felt Ryan's lips on his neck, tongue darting out. Fuck. Sean's arms went loosely around Ryan...and Ryan let him. Sean's hands were resting lightly on Ryan's hips as Ryan licked him again. Ryan was _getting off_ on the fact that Murphy had been out in the storm. Tasting him. It was insane. But if Murphy had known...he would have stayed out in it. Savored it for Ryan. (He shouldn't think that, or do this. He _should_ be thinking that if he'd had an inkling this would happen -- he would've turned right around and gone the hell home. Or never turned down this fucking hall, at least. He wasn't thinking that, though. Not at all. He wouldn't have done either of those things, not anymore.)

Ryan's head came back up to lock those eyes on Murphy's again. That joy peeking through again. "Kiss me."

Fuck. What was Ryan doing? Devious as always, but confusing Murphy for the first time. "I didn't gargle with rainwater, Ryan. It's just me."

"I know. I don't want the rain," Ryan stated as he dug his fingers into Murphy's wet hair. "I want you."

And Murphy believed him. Maybe Sean _had_ been struck by lightning. (Hell, maybe he was just lying in the parking lot twitching and hallucinating.) Murphy tried to bring some sense back. Kick Ryan out of whatever was going on in his head.

"What about Gloria?" That should do it.

But Ryan just tilted his head, still right there. "I love her. But she only reminds me of bad shit. She fucking hurts. You...remind me of good things." Ryan licked his lips again.

"Don't play this game with me, Ryan. You won't like the way it ends." But Murphy knew...it wasn't a game this time, and Ryan didn't give up. This was real. Here in the echoes and chill.

"I'm not playing." Serious words before Ryan pulled him into a kiss.

He already had Sean's head in his hands, fingers in Sean's hair. Ryan just tugged Sean quickly to his mouth. When Sean's hands tightened on Ryan's hips, it only made Ryan grin against his mouth.

This was what crossing lines felt like. This was what _Ryan_ felt like, tasted like. Stripped down and needy. Sean pushed back, letting his own yearning take over. His tongue in Ryan's mouth now, joining Ryan's, and for a second Sean wondered if Ryan would bite him, change his mind. But Ryan didn't. Ryan just lightened his grip in Murphy's hair, turning the tug into a damp caress. Murphy shivered and Ryan echoed it.

The kiss was far sweeter than Murphy would have thought. Turning so soft a second before Ryan pulled back. In that brief moment...the storm had broken. The only close pounding now was the rush of his own blood in Murphy's ears. The rain had slacked off. The thunder rumbling far off in the distance, flashes far off with it.

Murphy stepped back. "Your light show is over."

"Time to go back?" Ryan asked, eyes shifting to the window, down to the floor before they made it back to Murphy's gaze. There was no regret in his expression for the kiss.

"Yes." Murphy had to get them back. Now. Before he asked what was going on behind those eyes.

"Are you going to run away again? Get self righteous and leave me alone?" Ryan asked, scrutinizing him.

"No." Murphy couldn't...this was one line he couldn't uncross. One he didn't want to make amends for.

"Good." Ryan smiled, like a flash of that electric lightning before it was gone.

Electricity was dangerous if you weren't careful. Deadly. But this wasn't about blackmail. It was even more dangerous than that...because it was just about them.

***

The End


End file.
